Obliviate
by MoonNott
Summary: "I am sorry too that it came to this Professor. And I hope in this game you are playing with us as pawns you win because the alternative is frankly frightful, but it is not me you should be apologizing to." And just because she wanted to twist the metaphorical knife deeper she added, "It was all for the Greater Good after all, right?" And then she left. ONE-SHOT.


A/N: Hi! This is my first story. Set post-HBP and a little AU. No pairings. Would love to hear what you have to say! Thanks!

-MoonNott

* * *

Obliviate ( n.)

Latin _oblivionem_ ; "forgetfulness; a being forgotten"

 ** _(oh-BLI-_** _ **vee**_ ** _-ate)_**

 _July 20, 1997_

Death. Acceptance. They go hand in hand. One can't get over death till one accepts it. Everyone dies, it is easy enough to accept. Just like 'the sky is blue' or 'the ceiling in the Great Hall is enchanted' or 'Dumbledore was a brilliant wizard'. It is all great and flawless and logical in theory just like everything is. The brain understands this, but the heart refuses especially when the person in question is Dumbledore. The man who you've believed infallible, who is quite literally THE most powerful wizard at present, the only one who seems to know everything but above all, the only one the Dark Lord fears.

Hermione Granger is a lot of things; brightest witch of her Age, stubborn, recklessly protective of her friends; but if one had to pick a single attribute for her, it would be that she is logical. She was above all, logical and so she had accepted that everyone dies and that so would she. One day. Hopefully long _long_ away in the future if she had any say in it which seemed to be the problem. Kind of. Sort of. But she would ensure she had a say in it, she IS the brightest witch of her Age after all.

It was common knowledge that the Headmaster was close to Harry Potter but what nobody knew was that he was not the only person the Headmaster gave private lessons to. Hermione knew about the Horcruxes much before Harry mentioned them because Dumbledore knew that regardless of how smart Harry is, he is impulsive and Hermione Granger seemed to be the only person who could calm the boy down and make him see sense. So of course Dumbledore called Hermione to his office one fine afternoon and told her everything. Well, everything she "needed to know" of course which, who are we kidding, wasn't much. Hermione is anything but stupid and she knew the Headmaster was keeping things from her. She respected the man, but she didn't trust him. Seeing the boy you consider your brother suffer as he did for over six years will do that to you.

Dumbledore's death shook the whole Wizarding world for obvious reasons, but the only one Hermione found important was that Harry would now need all her help because he may not survive the year. And that meant no distractions. No. Distractions. She walked towards her house carrying grocery bags from the store around the corner and thought about the conversation she had had with the ex-Headmaster nearly six months ago. It seemed like just yesterday.

 _"You must understand Miss Granger, that what I ask of you is not for the weak of heart" Dumbledore was looking at her over his half-moon glasses, his eyes unreadable but judging her silently, daring her to bolt any moment._

 _Hermione knew the Headmaster was overly presumptuous and if you refused him, manipulating you into seeing his way was something he excelled at. And she hated it about the man but she wouldn't need to be manipulated. They both knew this conversation to ensure that she has considered her options was merely a formality. The determination on her face was so obvious; a blind man would've seen it._

 _"Harry will need you now more than ever" and there it was. That was the reason she wouldn't need to be convinced. She loved both her boys but the protective instinct she had towards Harry was that of a sister. She had abandoned the boy once on Dumbledore's orders because 'it isn't safe to contact him Miss Granger' and 'Harry needs to grieve' and 'the owls can be intercepted' and blah and blah. She had hated herself for a long time after for not putting in any effort to contact her best friend and she wouldn't do that again, no sir!_

 _So she took what appeared to be a calming breath, but only she knew it was more for controlling her temper and not snapping at the old man than to reassure herself. And she stared unflinchingly into the Headmaster's eyes, "I do Professor. We both know I will do whatever I can to protect Harry and no matter what you or anyone says I will go with him. No offense sir, but don't even pretend that your apprehensions stem from your concern for Harry's well-being, for if that was the case, you would have never left him without any contact with those vile people for eleven years to begin with. I do not see the need to convey my views on your actions because firstly, it is in the past and hence moot and secondly, I would be a hypocrite for condemning you for your ignorant behavior"_

 _Here she had to breathe in and out again and unclench her fists which she had unknowingly balled up "If I have read between your lines correctly, the last Horcrux will be Harry himself -" she thought she imagined the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes fade for a moment there "- and that all your 'I am doing all this to keep Harry safe' was only valid for so long till it was opportune time to present him to Voldemort to kill. And I don't like how this is all appearing to turn out but I will ensure that Harry doesn't die till the absolute last minute."_

 _They were both silent for what seemed like an eternity, neither backing down from the staring contest they unwittingly had begun till Fawkes' soft cry broke the silence and Dumbledore looked away._

 _"Very well then, I trust you have run several Arithmancy equations and looked at the possible outcomes?" she nodded "And if I may ask what have they told you of your future endeavors?"_

 _"The scenario that works best is if Harry leaves immediately after this year ends in search of the Horcruxes. Since Ron and I will both be accompanying him, we need to establish foolproof alibis for our disappearance. Mrs. Weasley will not approve of us leaving and since she isn't our guardian, Harry and I will have to resort to being blunt about it. Ronald will come with us, but I am not sure if he will be able to convince his mother. I just hope there is enough time to tie all ends before we have to leave"_

 _"And what of your parents Miss Granger? I can't imagine they would be enthusiastic about letting their only daughter run around the world on her own" Dumbledore was now leaning towards her, his elbows on the table and his chin upon the linked fingers, curiosity ripe in his gaze._

 _"I had been thinking about that the other day Professor, and I have a few questions. If I manage to… say convince them that I will be dropping out of school and 'run around the world on my own', they will be in more danger than ever. Voldemort has no love for Muggleborns and since I will be with Harry, he may capture my parents to get to me and hence Harry"_

 _"You are quite right Miss Granger. Voldemort is not above such tactics. I would expect him to use every way to reach Harry. The Weasleys will be safe for they are all wizards, but your parents will be defenseless. I could bring them to Hogwarts or ensure that they remain with someone from the Order, even somewhere unplottable if it puts your mind to ease"_

 _Hermione considered it, but none of the options Dumbledore gave her were on her terms. She would be dependent on someone to keep them safe and even then, they would be worried sick about her and she didn't want to subject them to that. She had a theory and it all seemed logical but she didn't want to bungle it up just because she didn't get a second opinion. Dumbledore was after all a very smart wizard._

 _"Thank you Professor, but I don't think I will accept any of those options" Dumbledore merely raised his eyebrows a fraction "I do have a theory though and I would like to know if you think it is feasible" Hermione looked away from the man and through the window into the evening sky. She didn't know what time it was, but evening seemed near. The sun would sink below the horizon within the next half hour. The Headmaster's office was aglow with the rays, the countless trinkets shining and winking in the light. The ambience of the room so warm and calm and homely however was absolutely contrary to the steadily darkening moods of its current occupants._

 _Minutes stretched painfully long as both of them sat in silence, her staring out of the window and him staring at her. Hermione was thankful that the Headmaster didn't prod her to share her thoughts on the theory she mentioned. She had an inkling that he already knew where her mind was veering to and was hence giving her enough time. Or she liked to think that was the case._

 _She spoke her next words very calmly, detaching herself from the world for those moments "I honestly do not know if I will come back alive from this. All my calculations seem to convey that that possibility is very low. And I don't want them to worry themselves to death over it. It would be best if they were to leave the country and forget about me. That way they won't be able to give away any information and if I don't come back, they will continue to live their lives happily"_

 _"Miss Granger" she heard someone call out from far away and it snapped her back into the present and her eyes found the old wizard sitting in front of her._

 _"Sorry Professor, did you say something?"_

 _"Yes. It would work. And when you come back, you can lift the enchantments. But they will not take kindly to being manipulated in that way, Miss Granger. Trust once broken, takes a long while if ever to be restored again"_

 _She gave a bitter laugh at that statement. The truth in it amused her as did the irony that it was Dumbledore who was talking about manipulation and lost trust. "You are one to talk sir"_

 _Dumbledore merely smiled at her. But there was no warmth in it. "If my calculations are anything to go by, I don't see why I should hope to come back anytime soon if ever, and in any case I will take that on my conscience than the knowledge that I didn't do my best to protect them. I have however never done any memory charms and will need to research on them. Now if we are done here Professor, may I leave?"_

 _Dumbledore sighed and closed his eyes, "Yes you may leave Miss Granger"_

 _Hermione nodded and got up from her seat. Just when she had touched the door she heard the Headmaster's voice again._

 _"Hermione?"_

 _She turned "Yes Professor?"_

 _"I am sorry it had to come to this, dear child. You may think I am a heartless old man who cares nothing but for himself and I wouldn't blame you for it. But I truly am sorry for what it has come to. I hope you will find it in yourself somewhere to forgive an old man for his arrogance, his mistakes." And in that moment he looked very much like the old man he was, tired, and repentant. And she couldn't help the tear that escaped her eyes. Maybe she would forgive the man later in her life but at this moment she couldn't._

 _She gave him a tiny smile, one that did not reach her eyes "I am sorry too that it came to this Professor. And I hope in this game you are playing with us as pawns you win because the alternative is frankly frightful, but it is not me you should be apologizing to." And just because she wanted to twist the metaphorical knife deeper she added, "It was all for the Greater Good after all, right?"_

 _And then she left._

Hermione had run blindly from the Headmaster's office to the Astronomy Tower and sobbed till she physically couldn't anymore. She cried for the little girl who made her first friends when she was twelve and for the little boy who had not slept sans nightmares for over a year and for the same boy who she loved so much her heart broke into a million pieces when she found out he would have to die. And she cried some more for that girl who was forced to grow up faster than she could bear and forced into making decisions no sixteen-year-old should make, and for the parents who had loved her so selflessly and who were so proud of her and who she was going to rip apart from their only daughter.

It was now July and Dumbledore had been dead for only a month, but she knew what she had to do. Bill and Fleur were getting married in ten days and she didn't have more time. Hermione had spent the last fortnight with her parents, being as dutiful and helpful as she could without raising suspicion. If Mr. and Mrs. Granger found their daughter's behavior odd, they didn't comment on it and for that she was glad. Hermione had decided she needed to wipe her parents' memories and give them new identities. She had read the theory behind the spells required for both and she knew what she had to do, but how does one do something so cruel?

Hermione had barely slept since she had come home. It was not just because she had too much to do and not enough time, but because every time she drifted off she would have nightmares. Variants of her failure to protect Harry, her parents. The possibilities that she might have forgotten to tie some loose end kept her up at other times. Through the day, she spent time with her parents and prepared for moving out at a moment's notice under the pretext of studying for the upcoming year. And the nights were spent brewing potions for the journey; Pepper-up, Blood replenishing, Dittany, Skele-gro, Invigorating and Calming draughts, Murtlap essence among others. She didn't have enough time to brew Polyjuice Potion, so she decided to nick it from Moody. She spent time practicing her Undetectable Extension Charms and put it on a few bags and she moved the numerous library books she had scoured from the library and Dumbledore's office into one of them.

Having practically functioned on Invigorating draught for almost a week she had finally finished with everything she needed. The last task that was forging the documents her parents would need and book their flight tickets to Australia, she had finished the previous night. She had to leave for the Burrow the next day for the wedding and time with her parents was running short.

"How long have you been standing here sweetheart?" Jean Granger stared at her daughter from the doorway bringing Hermione out of her musings. She hadn't realized when she had reached her house.

"Oh just about two minutes mum. Sorry, I was dreaming about the Pecan Pie you were going to make for dinner" Hermione blurted out the first excuse she could think of. 'phew that was close' she thought to herself.

Her mother laughed, "Well, come on in then! We have been waiting for you for dinner"

Hermione had planned on getting it over with tonight, but she was only human. And if she was going to get one last happy memory with her parents she was going to take it. So she didn't go through with the plan that night but drank in the scenario one last time, the laughing faces of two most wonderful people and her heart clenched in her chest painfully. But she was a completely different person on the outside and for at least those moments, all was well.

 _July 21, 1997_

Hermione hadn't slept through the night so getting out of her room because she knew she would break down if she didn't wasn't what you would call getting up. But that she did. She crept into her parents' bedroom, cast a Silencing charm and packed their luggage, got their tickets, passports and visas ready. She had talked to their realtor and sold the house as well, moving all the money into the Wilkins' account.

Hermione had meticulously changed all the documents and photographs and as of July 21, 1997, the last remnants of Jean and Richard Granger would be wiped and Monica and Wendell Wilkins would leave the country being blissfully unaware of the existence of one Hermione Granger.

Having finished everything she could, she lifted the charm and woke her parents up. She couldn't leave without saying goodbye! They might not remember they have a daughter an hour later, but she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she died without bidding adieu.

"Good morning, love. Is everything okay? It is still too early" her father asked, sleepy eyes clouding with worry.

"No dad. Nothing is okay. But hopefully, it will be. Soon. I am so sorry I have to do this, but there is no other choice. I love you both so much. Please forgive me." Tears were now steadily flowing down her face, but her voice did not waver through the conversation. It was as if her brain had compartmentalized the two actions to allow her to cast the spells properly.

"Sweetheart, you are scaring us. What's wrong?" her mother was also up now looking at her daughter with concern etched on her face.

"I am sorry" was all Hermione could say and then waving her wand at the two people sitting in front of her in a clear confident voice muttered, _"Confundo" "Obliviate adsumptivus"_ in succession, put them back to sleep and ran down the stairs.

Knowing that she will possibly never see them and that they will not remember her, she couldn't help the sobs that escaped her lips and she closed her eyes and slumped with her back against the kitchen counter. It all came crashing down on her and her cries echoed off the walls till she couldn't breathe because it hurt so much. She screamed at the unfairness of it all till her throat was raw and her voice hoarse and her lungs couldn't take another gulp of oxygen. She tried calming down, but it didn't happen for every time she opened her eyes there was a fresh burst of panic and longing and _despair_ and she couldn't stop. _She couldn't_. Just couldn't.

By the time her brain caught up with her, her sobs had become soundless but the tears were still pouring down endlessly. It was then that she registered the tiny vial of a Calming draught clutched in her fist and she uncorked it tipping the contents down her throat. The effect was instantaneous. She splashed cold water on her face from the sink and she swore that this was the last time she would cry for herself.

Harry depended on her and she needed to be strong enough and sane enough for the both of them. There could be no more distractions. _No. More. Distractions._

She had accepted that she was going to die and Harry was going to die and she let that feeling wash over her and cleared her mind.

And she put the tip of her wand at her own temple and withdrew the memories.


End file.
